The Stark Household: Childhood Misadventures
by Selene Illusinia
Summary: Darcy Stark series. The adventures and misadventures of Tony and Pepper as they work to raise Tony's daughter, Darcy. Beginning of the new Darcy Stark series, spun off of the More Than She Seems.
1. I'm sorry, Tony is a what?

**Yay for new series'. Alright, so this is the first of I don't know how many chapters detailing the misadventures of Darcy Stark's life. Yes, this is the one where she grows up with Tony as her active father. It is spun off my More-Than-She-Seems stuff and partially inspired by some stuff from _MissCora_ over on Archive Of Our Own.**

**A quick word of warning: I've taken liberties with the DNA testing stuff I mention in this. Yes, I know it takes far longer to receive a DNA test than is being portrayed. I know between extraction and sequencing without the comparison stuff it takes at least three days if pushing it, five days in reality. The internet plus classes in forensic anthropology and a degree in archaeology teach you some amazing things. This is fiction though, so I'm reserving the right to take a few liberties.**

**As always, my work/school schedule is insane so I don't know how _fast_ these updates will go. I apologize for any long waits.**

**I do not own anything related to Marvel, period. I probably wouldn't be a graduate student if I did.**

**Also, a major 'thank you' to HeroInTraining who is now my acting beta/editor.**

**Anyway, hope everyone enjoys this!**

**- Illusinia**

* * *

Chapter 1: The Birth/Discovery of Darcy Stark

A ringing phone wasn't an abnormality, especially when you are the personal assistant of the one and only Tony Stark. However, a ringing phone at 7:30 in the morning when the office is not even open is strange. Apparently, Pepper wasn't getting her quite time that morning.

"Hello, Stark Industries," greeted Pepper. "How may I help you?"

The voice on the other end of the connection sounded more than a little uneasy. "Um, I'm looking for Mr. Tony Stark please?"

"This is the office of Tony Stark," assured Pepper. "My name is Virginia Potts, assistant to Mr. Stark. May I help you with something?"

"Perhaps," admitted the man. "My name is Dr. Samuel Tarsen, I'm a OBGYN at Mainstand Hospital in Tucson, Arizona."

Pepper felt her blood freeze. This couldn't be good, especially given Tony had _been_ in Arizona nine months ago. "Alright."

"I had a patient here who gave birth to a little girl about 12 hours ago," explained Tarsen. "She told the nurse entering the child's information that Anthony Stark was the child's father. Unfortunately, she died shortly after giving birth from complications."

Pepper could feel her head starting to spin. Her boss, Tony Stark, playboy genius billionaire and probably the most irresponsible person she'd ever met, had a child. "Where is the child now?"

"In our nursery," replied Tarsen. "The reason I'm attempting to contract Mr. Stark is that the child is going to be put up for adoption."

"What?" breathed Pepper, shocked.

She heard Tarsen shift some papers around. "The mother's family has no interest in keeping the child. They wanted to put her up for adoption immediately, but I've blocked them temporarily. The girl was born about a month premature and, with her mother having died from complications, I want to keep her for observation."

"How long is she being kept for?" asked Pepper, who was already scrambling to gather her things together. "And what was the name of her mother?"

"Nancy Foster," informed Tarsen. "I'm assuming you wish to know to confirm she's actually been with Mr. Stark?"

Pepper nodded absentmindedly, then remembered she was on the phone. "I recall kicking her out the next morning so I could get Tony on a plane. I got her name in case she filed a complaint of some kind."

"A good move," agreed Tarsen mildly. "Miss. Potts, I can keep the child here for 72 hours under the reasoning of observation, but barring any complications I will have to release her into the custody of her material family unless Mr. Stark comes to claim paternity."

"I understand," assured Pepper. "I'll be out there in two hours. If you don't mind, I would like to come see the child and have a paternity test run before contacting Mr. Stark on this matter."

"Of course," agreed Tarsen. "I'll be sure to have something for the paternity test ready when you arrive."

"Thank you, Dr. Tarsen." Pepper threw the last of her papers into her bag and started thinking about what she could grab that would have some of Tony's DNA on it. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Miss. Potts."

Hanging up, Pepper stepped into the hall and crept up to Tony's room. Opening the door softly, she slipped inside and hurried to grab her boss's hairbrush. Hopefully there would be some kind of DNA that could be gathered from the strands stuck to the bristles. Though she didn't relish the idea of doing this without telling Tony, working for him for the past year and a half had taught her that some things were best done without Tony's knowledge until he absolutely need to know.

After confirming everything was packed, she hurried out the door to her car. Grabbing her cellphone, she dialed the number of the Burbank airport's ticket counter as she drove. "Hello, I need a ticket to Tucson, Arizona. The next hour. Right, that's perfect. Thank you."

Ticket secured, Pepper dialed Rhodey's number, leaving him a message requesting that he call her as soon as possible and contact Happy as well. It was very possible someone was going to need to drag Tony onto an airplane later. Calls made, Pepper allowed her mind to focus on the problem at hand. A daughter. Tony Stark had a daughter. God help the world.

* * *

Less than an hour after receiving the call, Pepper walked into the front lobby of Mainstand Hospital. It wasn't a particularly large hospital but everything looked clean and relatively nice given the size of the town. Without a second thought, Pepper strode up to the nurses station.

A large, kind looking woman glanced up as Pepper approached and offered her a soft smile. "Can I help you?"

Pepper nodded and shifted her purse uneasily. "I'm looking for Dr. Samual Taren. He works in the maternity ward."

"Of course, through the doors on the left. All the doctor's offices are down the first hallway on the right," directed the nurse.

"Thank you," muttered Pepper as she turned towards the doors.

Striding into the maternity ward, Pepper hadn't expected the quiet nature of the area that met her ears. However, she quickly focused on finding the hallway the nurse mentioned and locating Dr. Tarsen's office. It turned out to be far easier than Pepper had though it would be. The door itself was closed, but a sign taped to the front stated he was in the Nursery on the second floor. Five minutes later, Pepper was standing before the glass window that looked into the hospital's small nursery.

She spotted a man she suspected was Dr. Tarsen immediately, and he quickly waved her inside when he noticed her standing there.

"Miss Potts I'll assume?" asked the man with a smile. Pepper nodded and offered her hand, which the man took with a smile. "I'm Dr. Tarsen, as you may have guessed."

"It's good to meet you Doctor," greeted Pepper. "Do you have the sample?"

Dr. Tarsen nodded. "Of course. It's right here." Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew a small envelope. "I took the liberty of sealing it already. I hope that's alright."

"Of course," assured Pepper as she removed an envelope from her bag. She'd already sealed and tucked the hairs from Tony into the bag, careful to make sure the tips which could offer DNA were attached. She took the other envelope and tucked it into the larger envelope, then tucked the packet into her bag again. "I have someone waiting downstairs to run this to a Stark lab in Phoenix. They're going to run the DNA today so we should know by tonight if Tony is indeed the father."

Dr. Tarsen nodded and motioned for Pepper to step back out of the nursery. "Why don't you run that to your guy. After that, if you like I can introduce you to the little girl."

"That would be great," admitted Pepper as she ducked out of the nursery. "I'll be right back."

The trip downstairs was as quick as it had been going up and her messenger was off to the lab in five minutes. It would take about two hours to get to Phoenix plus the time to run the tests. They would have the results that afternoon by her calculations.

Re-entering the hospital, Pepper traced her path back to the nursery. Dr. Tarsen was waiting at the door, a sympathetic smile on his face. "She's still in the intensive care unit, so we'll have to wash up before we can go in. There are sinks and soap down there, if you'll follow me."

"Of course," nodded Pepper, falling into step beside the doctor. "How is she doing? Health wise, that is."

Dr. Tarsen shrugged. "She seems to be perfectly healthy, if a bit on the small side. Sometimes that happens though. Premature birth doesn't necessarily mean there will be something wrong with the baby. Really, she's down there because her mother died from complications and we want to ensure she wasn't injured as well."

"That makes sense," murmured Pepper, her eyes focusing straight ahead. She could see the sign for the intensive care unit.

"Right this way," directed Dr. Tarsen as he held open the door to the unit. "Use the sink to your left to wash your hands and lower arms, then put on a set of the scrubs hanging by the door and we can go in."

Pepper did as directed, washing her arms well and blessing the fact that she'd put on a tank top that day. Next, she pulled a set of green scrubs on and watched Dr. Tarsen do the same. He gave her an encouraging smile as he held open the second door so Pepper could step into the unit itself.

The lighting inside was low, probably to keep from bothering any of the children therein. Incubators were scattered around the room, infants of various sizes tucked inside. A short line of plastic baskets sat near the back which Dr. Tarsen turned towards immediately. Coming to the last of the baskets, he checked the monitors, then carefully lifted the infant inside from her sleeping place.

She was wrapped in a pink blanket, squishy faced but not as red as most infants Pepper had seen. Unlike most of her companions, this little girl was also wide awake. Blue eyes identical to Tony's own landed on Pepper almost immediately and a faint smile pulled at the small child's lips.

Carefully, Pepper reached out and stroked the child's cheek. "She's beautiful. I'm not sure the paternity test was really necessary though. Those are Stark eyes, as Tony likes to call them."

Dr. Tarsen chuckled. "Well, I would need the test results anyway to release her into Mr. Stark's care." He paused for a moment, examining the infant in his arms, then drawing his eyes back up to Pepper. "Miss Potts, if I may ask, what do you think the chances are that Mr. Stark will _want_ to keep his daughter?"

Pepper sighed and shook her head, finger sliding down to rest in the child's palm. "With Tony its hard to say. But, I think that if given the chance he'd want to at least _know_ he had a child. It sounds strange, but I've seen him with children before. Two kids who live next door to him accidentally lost their ball in his yard once. Not only did he return it, he showed them how to throw it better _and_ spent several hours playing with them." Pepper paused, weighing what she knew of Tony with what she'd seen. "I think that Tony wants children of his own to some degree. The better question is if he wants them _now_."

Dr. Tarsen gave Pepper a soft smile and nodded to the infant. "Would you like to hold her?"

"May I?" asked Pepper softly, arms extending to take the child. As Dr. Tarsen lay the infant in her arms, Pepper knew instantly that, if Tony decided not to keep his daughter, she would apply to adopt her. Yes she was young and perhaps it was a rash thing to do, but the infant was perfect in so many ways that Pepper didn't want to let her go. "Doctor, I know she hasn't been named but do you have anything you call her?"

"No, we haven't found anything to call her by except 'Baby Stark' at this point," admitted Dr. Tarsen. "We aren't permitted to give names to the infants who don't have them."

Pepper nodded. "May I give her a temporary one then?"

"Certainly," agreed Dr. Tarsen. "I rather dislike not having a name to call an infant by. If someone else makes it up, I can still use it."

"Alright," whispered Pepper. "How about Darcy?"

In her arms, the little girl cooed happily and nuzzled against Pepper.

"She likes it," murmured Dr. Tarsen as he picked up the little girl's chart. "It looks like she has a feeding coming up. Would you like to feed her, Miss Potts?"

Pepper looked surprised. "Isn't that against the rules?"

Dr. Tarsen shrugged. "The child's family has shown no interest in her and allowing you to do it really isn't any different than having a nurse do it."

Pepper nodded softly. "Alright. I'd like that."

* * *

It was almost 5 pm when Rhodey threw open the door to Tony Stark's bedroom and started throwing back the curtains. He'd gotten a call from Pepper less than twenty minutes ago telling him to drag Tony out of bed and throw him on a Stark plane to Tucson, Arizona. Tony groaned unhappily in his bed, pulling a pillow over his head and muttered something about 'five more minutes Pep!'.

Rhodey just tsked. "I'm pretty sure I should be insulted. Pepper is _way_ to feminine for someone to mix us up."

Tony shot up quickly at the sound of his friend's voice. "Rhodey? Where's Pepper?"

"Arizona," replied Rhodey in his no-nonsense tone that usually got the recruits doing what he wanted them to. "Which is where we're going too. She has someone out there you need to meet."

One of Tony's eyebrows rose. "And that would be...?"

"A surprise," finished Rhodey, who threw the first shirt and pair of pants he could find that looked relatively clean at Tony.

Tony groaned but started to pull on the offered clothes none the less. "Damn, that woman is a task driver."

"She got the call about this at 7:30 this morning. If she wanted, she could have dragged you out there then," pointed out Rhodey as he turned away so Tony could dress in relative privacy.

"True," sighed Tony as he stood from the bed, scratching his head a little. "So, do I have time to eat?"

"Food's in the car," replied Rhodey as he tossed a pair of shoes at Tony and walked out the door. "Now get moving."

Tony grumbled and groaned the whole way to the airport, despite the coffee and doughnuts which Rhodey had brought for him. They boarded a Stark Jet with Tony still whining about surprise business trips and the like but Rhodey tuned his friend out. He was used to the griping. What he was more worried about was Pepper's call. She'd sounded different and the fact that she wouldn't explain why she was at the hospital in Tucson worried him. Pepper was good for Tony, she kicked his ass in the best way possible and kept him at least marginally out of trouble. Hopefully, the woman was okay.

They landed in Tucson within the hour and reached the hospital in fifteen minutes. Tony quieted as soon as he saw the sign, face drawing tight. Rhodey stiffened himself, worried about what could be going on.

As soon as the car had stopped Tony was out of the door and walking rapidly into the hospital, though he changed to strolling casually once he was inside. The air of deserved cockiness floated around him heavily as he leaned on the nurses desk. "Hey, hi there. I'm looking for a red-headed woman, about, oh, ya high," he made a hand motion at about where Pepper's head would be, "blue eyes, pale, probably in a business suit..."

The nurse nodded calmly. "You're looking for Miss Potts. She's upstairs in maternity. Through the doors on the left and one floor up. I think Dr. Tarsen said she was in the nursery."

Watching Tony pale like he did was almost worth all the whining the man had done getting there. Payback was apparently a bitch, though Rhodey was wondering what the hell Pepper would be doing in Maternity. The woman definitely hadn't been pregnant.

Tony uttered a hurried 'thanks' and bolted through the doors. Rhodey could hear him rocketing up the stairs to the second floor. "Uh, thank you ma'am."

The nurse smiled softly. "Your welcome."

Rhodey nodded and passed through the doors himself, albeit slower than Tony. Not that Rhodey was in any hurry to get upstairs. The thought of what might await him was frightening.

* * *

Tony practically ran down a man as he crashed through the stair-way doors and into the second-floor hall.

The man in question caught Tony easily around the shoulder and pushed him into a wall. "Easy now buddy, what's the rush?"

"I need to find someone," replied Tony, who was definitely frightened now. "Her names Pepper. Pepper Potts."

His captor smiled softly and released Tony. "Ah, you must be Tony. Miss Potts is in the nursery. They moved Darcy there about an hour ago."

"Darcy?" asked Tony as the full force of what was happening struck him. His head began to spin. "Who's Darcy?"

However, the man just smiled. "I think I'll let Miss Potts explain that to you. You'll find her through the first door down the hall on the right hand side."

"Right," muttered Tony as he broke away from the man and headed for the aforementioned door.

Behind him, he didn't see the man who had caught him sigh or hear him mutter something about 'she was right'.

Instead, Tony focused on the door he needed, even though he paused outside for just a moment. Glancing through the glass, he could see Pepper holding a small pink-wrapped bundle near the back of the room. Shit. Taking a deep breath, Tony sealed himself and stepped through the door.

* * *

Pepper looked up as she heard Tony enter, a soft smile on her face. "Tony, there you are. I was wondering if Rhodey had managed to get you out of bed or not."

"Yeah, he got me up," muttered Tony distractedly. "You never mentioned you were pregnant Pep. Does the dad know?"

Pepper shook her head with a sigh. "Tony, if I was pregnant you would have known. Trust me." Looking back down at the bundle in her arms, she smiled at the infant and stood calmly. "Besides Tony, she isn't mine. At least not yet, and she won't be if her father wants her."

"Her father?" asked Tony uneasily. "Pep, are you implying what I think you're implying but at the same time am kinda hoping you aren't implying?"

Sighing again, Pepper moved towards Tony and tilted the bundle so he could see the infant inside. A pair of blue eyes identical to his own looked back at him curiously, mouth open slightly as if she were amazed by the sight of him. "Tony, this is your daughter. She was born almost 24 hours ago. If you want her, you can have her. A paternity test confirmed you're her father. If you don't want her, she'll be put up for adoption."

Tony nodded slowly. "So the part about her not being your daughter yet..."

"If she is put up for adoption, I intend to attempt to adopt her," confirmed Pepper. In her arms, the infant snuggled closer.

Tony couldn't help it, the sight made him smile. "So, she's really mine huh?"

Pepper nodded softly. "Yes."

"And no matter what I decide, she'll probably be in my life?" continued Tony, smile growing into a grin as he reached out with a hand to stroke Darcy's cheek.

"Most likely," confirmed Pepper firmly.

Tony shrugged. "Well, that decides it then. Where do I sign to take her home?"

Pepper's eyes grew wide. "Really Tony? Just like that?"

Tony nodded, grin still in place. "Sure. She's my kid after all and no matter what she's going to be around so I might as well just keep her. That way at least I can have some say about her life."

"Tony," groaned Pepper, but there was a smile in her voice. "Do you want to hold her?"

"Can I?" asked Tony with surprise. "Better question, is that smart? This is me after all and I'm not the most careful person in the wor-"

"Tony," interrupted Pepper, "I've seen you handle blown glass that could shatter from the slightest vibration without breaking it. I'm sure its a good idea. Now, sit down." Tony obeyed, taking the seat Pepper had previously occupied. "Good, now lay one arm under her body and wrap the other around her. Be careful to support her head, she can't lift it on her own yet."

"Right," muttered Tony as Pepper lowered the baby into his arms. The little girl looked up at him immediately, eyes examining him the same way he often examined parts or machinery. Her mouth moved a little and she smiled slightly as he rubbed her cheek gently with his thumb. "Hey kid, guess what? I'm your dad. Now, there are a few things we need to get straight. I'm a genius and, aside from you, unattached, so you might see some random women around the house sometimes. But don't worry, no matter what you are my number one girl. And I mean that." Tony's voice softened as he took in the infant he was holding. "You're my baby girl and no matter what you will always be the number one girl in my life. Got it?"

The infant hiccuped a little, then giggled. One of her hands rose towards Tony's face, gently patting his cheek. The action made Tony grin so wide Pepper wondered if his face would split in two.

"Hey Pep, how do you feel about moving in with me?" offered Tony just as Rhodey walked through the door.

The military man choked. "Uh, did I miss something? Should I come back?"

Pepper laughed softly and shook her head. "No Rhodey, you're fine. Tony is just delirious, either with happiness or fear."

Rhodey looked at Tony and the infant in his arms. A soft groan followed. "Dear god, so the kid is his?"

"I'm afraid so," sighed Pepper.

"God help us all," muttered Rhodey as he watched Tony make faces at his daughter. "Tony Stark is a father."


	2. Names, Diapers, and Robot Furniture

**Okay, so first things first (and I should have done this in the previous chapter) but this story takes place starting about 17 years before the first Iron Man movie. So, somewhere in the late 80's, early 90's. So, that means that Tony hasn't had time to build all of his robots and tech yet, he hasn't created JARVIS nor does he have most of the stuff he uses to invent in the movies. That means, he has to do a lot of stuff on his own. Keep this in mind when reading any of this. (I actually had a friend point some stuff out that makes sense when put into the proper time-span/period but not outside of it, hence the warnings).**

**Anyway, a very special thanks to HeroInTraining, the awesome beta who looked this over, and my friend Cass who pointed out a few issues and gave me some suggestions for a bit of dialog where she saw issues.**

**Any overlooked mistakes that I forgot to correct are my fault.**

**And, on with the show. Enjoy!**

**Illusinia**

* * *

Its three days before Dr. Tarsen can release Darcy into Tony's care. Her grandparents had already signed away their rights over the child and taken their daughter's body from the hospital, so they were out of the picture. Thus, when the third day rolled around, Tony signed the custody and care forms and walked out the door with Darcy tucked into his arms. He hadn't put her down unless necessary for the past three days. Or when Pepper has demanded to hold the infant.

Most of the car ride to the airport was spent with Tony cooing at his daughter, even when she gave him a sleepy smile and nodded off. Pepper let him, glancing over the furniture list that she had been working off. Rhodey had gone back after the first day and been corresponding with Pepper and Happy to get the basic furniture and necessities put together. All of it had been delivered to the house by now, but none of it was constructed; Tony got to do that part.

It wasn't until the three of them were on the company plane and in the air that Tony actually spoke to Pepper. "So, I took the liberty of having the hospital give her your last name." His voice was so casual, he could have been discussing the weather.

Pepper coughed a little, eyes going wide as her head shot up to focus on Tony before diving for the file of paperwork that the hospital had given them. She sputtered a few times as she took in the scrawl that declared the child's name Darcy Tonya Potts. "But, what-how-Tony_ why?_"

Tony shrugged, lifting Darcy into his arms when she started to fuss. "I don't want her to get targeted by the press, at least not until she's ready. And I have enemies, we both know that. Besides, I already put in the paperwork to give you joint-custody."

More sputtering came from Pepper's direction but Tony ignored it in favor of cooing at Darcy. Her little arm flailed in joy as she reached up to touch Tony's nose. "What do ya think Darce? Do you want Pepper to be your mommy?"

Darcy giggled happily and turned her head to look at Pepper. The motion was a surprise given most newborns couldn't make the connection between a name and a person, but Tony shrugged it off. She was a Stark after all. "I think that's a yes. What do you think Pep?"

Pepper was still in shock, though she did manage to nod a little. It took a few tries, but eventually she got her voice back. "Tony, why- why me?"

"Really Pep?" asked Tony with raised eyebrows. "You've kept me in line and my life together for the last _year_. That's more than anyone else has ever wanted or managed to do. Besides, do you really trust me alone with a kid?"

"Good point," admitted Pepper with a sigh. "Alright Tony, I get it. Now, hand me my daughter."

* * *

Tony's home in Malibu was a metal and glass sculpture concealed by a dip and a high fence. It offered as much privacy as possible, with all windows facing towards the ocean and a wall of primarily cement facing the road. It was about as protected as possible.

"Welcome home baby girl," whispered Tony to the sleepy infant in his arms as they walked into the building. "Hey Pep, does she have a room?"

"Next to yours," replied Pepper as she moved to check for messages.

Tony grunted and carried Darcy upstairs, talking to her as he went. Pepper calmly went about making sure no emergencies had occurred in their absence. Not that she was really that worried, it was rare for anyone to actually contact Tony if something came up. Besides, she would have heard about it if anything truly urgent had emerged.

"Hey Pep, what's this?" called Tony.

Pepper was immediately on her feet and heading for the stairs. When Tony started asking questions like that, one of two things were likely to happen: something would be broken or, more likely, something was going to explode. The latter was the most common and somehow the most likely even when things shouldn't be _able _to explode.

Upstairs, the door to Darcy's new room was wide open, allowing Pepper to find both father and daughter with ease. Inside, Tony stood staring at the box containing the crib which currently lay in the middle of the room. Another box containing the changing table sat beside it. A few other bags with stuff like a diaper bag and baby carrier were placed beside the boxes. Pepper had been strict in her instructions to leave everything else to Tony. Well, and apparently her if Darcy was really going to be her daughter.

Daughter. She had a daughter now, even if she hadn't given birth to the girl. That was a new thought, and one that was going to take some getting used to.

"Yes Tony?" asked Pepper, keeping her patience in check.

Tony blinked up at her and motioned to the boxes with his head, keeping Darcy cradled against him. "What's with the boxes Pep?"

"That would be baby furniture," replied Pepper, relieved that nothing was going to be exploding any time soon. Although, this was Tony so it was impossible to say if that assessment was true or not. Seriously, the man could make anything explode.

For a moment, Tony just squinted at the boxes before looking at Pepper again. "Why is the furniture in boxes? Doesn't it need to be put together?"

Pepper nodded. "Yes, it does. That would be your job. In fact," glancing around, Pepper confirmed her suspicions immediately, grabbing the baby carrier from among the bags, "why don't I take Darcy and go pick up some basic necessities while you put the furniture together."

"Uh..." Tony looked a little uncertain as he eyed the boxes but Pepper didn't give him a chance to respond.

Instead, she swept Darcy out of Tony's arms and turned back towards the room's door. "It won't be that hard Tony. I've seen you build more complicated things from scratch in your workshop. Besides, the boxes include instructions so you should be done in no time."

"Right," muttered Tony who was already examining the box containing the crib now that his hands were empty.

"We shouldn't be more than an hour," added Pepper as she and Darcy left the room, heading for the front door.

* * *

What Pepper had originally assumed would be an hour trip turned into two when she realized that they didn't have any formula either. And that Darcy would probably need a blanket, sheets, and several other things that she hadn't considered when Rodey had been doing the shopping. Still, she was back at Tony's two hours later with a sleeping Darcy in one hand and one of the many bags from the car in her other. Happy came in behind her, humming happily as he deposited the bags at the base of the stairs par Pepper's request.

Pepper didn't pay much attention to Happy however, being too concerned with the silence that seemed to consume the house. "Tony?"

No response.

"Tony?" repeated Pepper uneasily as she crept up the stairs Darcy still in one hand. "Are you up here?"

A crash and cheer of success came from the baby room, drawing Pepper towards the open door. When she peered inside, however, Pepper nearly dropped the baby carrier. "Oh god."

Tony turned and grinned at Pepper, pride written across his face. "What do you think Pep?"

"Tony, what did you _do_?" asked Pepper in shock. Both furniture boxes were tossed aside, empty, but their contents were no where to be found. Instead, two strangely shaped robots stood in the middle of the room.

One was possibly shaped like a crib except that it beeped intermittently as it switched between rock songs, there were no bars, and the side kept sliding up and down at random. The 'bed' was also curved, rather than flat, and looked like something out of a bad science fiction movie.

The other was what Pepper guessed was supposed to be the changing table except that there were robotic arms hanging off the sides, making it look more like someone flattened a spider between two pieces of wood. Most of the table had also been stripped and Pepper thought some of the bars from the crib might have ended up on the table.

When her eyes came back to Tony, he was frowning. "You don't like it?"

"Tony, Darcy _can't_ sleep in...that," Pepper gestured at the potential crib, "and she certainly can't be changed on _that_." Again, a gesture was made towards the corresponding robot. "You'll give her nightmares!"

Tony 'huh'ed, then shook his head. "You have that backwards Pep. The one with the arms is the crib and the one with the speakers is the changing table/play table. I did a little research while you were gone and found that-"

"Tony," cut off Pepper. "Darcy can't sleep in either of those things!"

"Why not?" asked Tony, clearly confused.

Pepper took a deep, calming breath and set Darcy down, carefully lifting her out of the carrier. "Because she'll have nightmares." Sighing, Pepper thrust the little girl into Tony's arms and grabbed her purse again. "Look, watch Darcy. I'm going to go replace all this stuff. And put those things somewhere else."

With that, Pepper walked out leaving a stunned Tony behind.

* * *

Pepper was barely gone an hour before her phone was going off. Sighing, she fished the device out of her purse and balanced the phone while pursing the crib selection. "Yes Tony?"

"Uh, Pep, Darcy's crying," started Tony uncertainly.

Over the phone, the infant's wails could be heard loud and clear. "I can hear that Tony. Is she hungry?"

"Uh, I think her diaper's dirty," admitted Tony uncertainly.

Pepper sighed heavily. "Then change it."

"Sure Pep, just like I did with the other _four children I fathered unintentionally_," growled Tony, though she could hear the panic starting to leak into his voice. "You know I haven't done this before!"

"You did it at the hospital," reminded Pepper with a roll of her eyes.

"Yeah," confirmed Tony, "but I was _supervised_ when I did that. I haven't done this alone before!"

Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Tony, just take the old diaper off, clean her up, and put a new one on. Its not rocket science. The sides have adhesive, so you don't have to use safety pins and the wipes are in a bag with the diapers I just bought."

"But-but," started Tony. However, Pepper hung up before he could finish. The man was a genius, he'd figure it out.

* * *

At the house, Tony stared at the phone as it gave him a dial tone while Darcy cried in his arms. "Shit."

Sighing, he dropped the phone and refocused on Darcy. "Alright kid, let's try this."

Rummaging through the bags, Tony found the diapers and wipes that Pepper had mentioned along with an indented pad that had the words 'Diaper Changing Pad' written on it. An image of a baby laying in the pad while it was being changed was printed on the back. "Okay, I guess I need this?"

Taking all three items downstairs, Tony set the pad on the table in the kitchen and set the wipes and diapers beside it. He remembered at the hospital that the nurses kept a trash can next to the changing area, so he grabbed the trash can as well. Unwrapping the pad, he lay the still-crying Darcy in the middle, muttering soothing sounds to her in a vain attempt to calm her down.

"Alright Darce, lets try this," muttered Tony as he carefully unsnapped her diaper and peeled the front away. Instantly, he jumped backwards and coughed heavily. "Whew, that reeks Darce! What the hell has Pep been feeding you?"

Darcy sniffed but giggled a little.

"Yeah, really funny kid," muttered Tony as he edged back towards where Darcy was kicking her feet. "Jesus..."

Carefully, Tony slid the diaper out from under Darcy, almost gagging on the smell. "Oh god, I am _never_ doing this again. There has to be another way. Maybe I can invent something..."

Darcy giggled again and kicked her feet gently. Her eyes were locked on Tony's face, giving him an adorable grin.

Tony just sighed. "Alright, maybe not. You're too cute for your own good, you know that kid?" She cooed and reached one hand towards Tony, which he took gently. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it."

Grabbing the wipes, Tony quickly cleaned Darcy up, which was the easy part. Then came time to figure out the diaper. "Alright Darce, which way does this thing go?" Darcy giggled, kicked, and cooed in response. "Well, you're no help." Sighing, he tucked the diaper under her and tried to close it. "That doesn't look right." For one thing, the diaper wouldn't close. For another, one of the adhesive strips was stuck to Darcy's leg. "Okay, that's not right. Lets try this again." Removing the diaper, Tony tossed it and tried again. This time it was too big on the front. Again, he grabbed yet another diaper. "These things need to come with directions."

It took three more tries before Tony finally got the diaper on right (or at least close enough that Pepper probably wouldn't notice if it wasn't). Quickly, he washed his hands and then went to scoop up Darcy. "So Darce, what should we do now?" Darcy cooed slightly, looking up at his with wide eyes. "Alright, well, how about I show you my workshop? Wanna see where Daddy does all his work?"

Without waiting for an answer, he headed down the stairs and into the space for his workshop.

* * *

When Pepper arrived home a few hours later, new crib and changing table in hand, she found the house eerily quiet. "Tony?"

No response. Worried, she headed upstairs to Darcy's room and found it empty. Frown firmly in place, Pepper began a room-by-room search of the house before finally descending to Tony's workshop. In retrospect its the first place she should have checked.

Tony was standing in front of the open hood of one of his cars, pointing out the various parts and how they ran. Darcy was sleeping soundly in Tony's arms. The image was adorable to the point where Pepper momentarily considered if someone could have replaced Tony with a clone. Then he made an off-color joke that had Pepper wondering if Darcy was going to know more inappropriate words before the age of three than any child should.

"Tony?" asked Pepper, drawing the genius' attention to her.

"Pep," greeted Tony with a grin as Darcy blinked and turned her head to look at Pepper. "I changed her diaper!"

"Congratulations," replied Pepper slowly, wondering how badly that misadventure likely went. "Do we have any diapers left?"

Tony snorted. "Please, it wasn't that bad."

"Uhuh," hummed Pepper as she made a mental note to check the diaper supply later. "What have you two been doing besides that?"

"I've been showing her the workshop and introducing her to the finer points of engineering," replied Tony with a grin.

Pepper reached for Darcy with a head shake. "You're going to corrupt her."

"Hey, she's a Stark!" exclaimed Tony. "Engineering is in our blood."

"Tony, I doubt she _understands_ anything you've been saying," pointed out Pepper, lifting Darcy from Tony's hands. "Besides, it looks like she's been sleeping though you're lecture."

"Hardly," scoffed Tony. "She's been a perfectly attendant audience. Right Darce?"

Darcy cooed then turned her head to focus on something else.

Pepper smirked slightly. "See?"

Tony opened his mouth to rebuke Pepper, but stopped short when Darcy reached out suddenly and made a grab for a screw driver that was sitting on the table next to her. Her hand-eye coordination wasn't good enough to grab it of course, but the effort made Tony grin like the maniac he was. "So Pep, what was that about Darcy not understanding what I was saying?"

With a sigh and head-shake, the red-head assistant turned towards the workshop exit. "I stand by my previous statement Tony: you're going to corrupt her before she can walk!"

The next day, a mobile of small wrenches and screw-drivers appeared over Darcy's crib. By that night, it had been replaced with a plastic version.


	3. Infancy Trials: Year 1

**Thank you to HeroInTraining for betaing this. Any remaining errors are mine.**

** Enjoy!  
**

**- Illusinia  
**

* * *

Pepper sighed as she hung up the phone and walked into the nursery where Tony sat rocking Darcy. His forehead was drawn with worry as he whispered soothing noises at his daughter. She fussed a little in his arms, but mostly she was quiet, if not clearly uncomfortable. He'd put a wet rag on her forehead.

"Well, the doctor says not to worry," sighed Pepper as she set the phone on the changing table and moved to stand beside Tony. "Apparently, infants get fevers and not low ones. We just need to monitor her and make sure the fever doesn't get too high."

Tony's frown deepened and he looked up at Pepper with worry-filled eyes. "Really. There's nothing we can give her? Nothing at all? Of all the medical arsenal that's available there's _nothing at all_ _that they can give her._"

Pepper shook her head. "I sent Happy out for a infant fever reducer but the doctor advised against using it unless her fever starts to shows signs of becoming dangerous."

"Great," sighed Tony unhappily as Darcy began to fuss again. Frustration was clearly painted across his face now, mixed with the worry even as his voice lowered to comfort his daughter. "There, there, baby girl. It's alright. Daddy Tony's here and so's Mommy Pepper. We'll take care of you sweetheart."

A faint smile drew across Pepper's lips as she reached out to take Darcy. "She'll be alright Tony, we'll make sure she is. You need to get some sleep though, otherwise you'll get sick."

Tony shook his head but stood to stretch none the less. "I'm good Pep, really. I don't want to leave her alone."

Pepper's smile grew a little more as she lay Darcy in her crib. "We need to let her sleep Tony, that's the best thing for her right now."

"Fine," huffed Tony, exhaustion clearly starting to take its toll. "But can you at least be in here to monitor her?"

"Tony..." muttered Pepper with a smile as she took his arm and led him from the room. "I promise, she'll be fine. I'll check on her frequently but you need to get some sleep. I know its been at least two days since you last slept."

"I'm fine," protested Tony, even as he yawned. "Really, I can keep going."

Pepper gave him a 'no you're not' look and pushed him into his bedroom. "Get some sleep Tony. I'll have Happy lay down with you if you don't."

"That's just mean Pep," pouted Tony even as he started stripping. Pepper averted her eyes, allowing her gaze to take in the rest of the room.

Clothes and other various things lay scattered around the room hap-hazardly and clearly thrown there without thought. Which was completely Tony. He was one of the most absent-minded people she knew, which made her job a nightmare sometimes.

A cleared off part of the dresser caught her attention though, notable the three frames which rested there. One contained a photo of Tony's own parents, complete with him as a young child. Another was of Tony with Dummy, the first robot he'd ever built and that he'd kept all of these years despite the issues said robot often caused. Well, a robot who could operate a fire extinguisher was always a good thing around this household, so Pepper couldn't argue. The last image surprised Pepper enough that she had to pick it up and make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. It was a picture of her holding Darcy at the hospital. Tony stood beside and a little behind her, grinning down at the infant in her arms. In that pose, they actually looked like a real family rather than what they were: a genius and his personal assistant raising his kid.

"Great shot, right? Rhody caught it at the hospital," explained Tony as he crawled into his bed. "I'm gonna put it in Darcy's room when she's a little older so she'll always have a photo of her family."

Tears pricked in the corners of Pepper's eyes. "It's a beautiful idea."

"Good," murmured the genius as he started to drift off. "Want her to know we love her..."

Pepper carefully set the frame back on the dresser and flipped off the lights in the room. "I'm sure she already knows that Tony."

"Hope so..." His words trailed off as sleep took him away and Pepper was careful to quietly shut the door before making her way back towards the nursery.

Darcy lay in her crib, asleep even though the fever appeared to be causing her fitful dreams. Her little feet would kick every once in a while or one of her hands would flail slightly, but otherwise she seemed to remain asleep. With a worried sigh of her own, Pepper sat down in the chair that Tony had vacated and pulled out a book she had been meaning to read. It was a parenting guide of sorts, one her own mother had recommended she try. Flipping to the chapter on medical conditions, she began to read.

* * *

Pepper blinked her eyes in an attempt to clear the image of the clock sitting two feet from her head. The flashing numbers told her it was close to midnight. Maybe three hours since she'd kicked Tony off to bed.

Yawning, she sat up slowly in an attempt to avoid a head rush. The book in her lap struck the ground, causing her to jump a little. Quickly, she glanced towards the crib but no noise came from inside. Slowly, Pepper scooped up the book and set it on the changing table before moving to check up on Darcy.

Only the crib was empty.

"How in the world..." started Pepper but a crash from downstairs had her bolting towards the kitchen.

Her heels were abandoned in the hall as a smoke alarm started going off and she nearly fell down the stairs when the sound of a crying infant and Tony's constant cursing reached her ears. In seconds she was crashing through the door to the kitchen, which allowed the rather large cloud of smoke to billow out of the small space. And also resulted in her getting a face full of fire-extinguisher foam.

"Shit. Sorry about that Pep," apologized Tony as she reached up to wipe some of the foam off her face so she could at least glare at the billionaire. He shot her an apologetic smile and handed her a towel before heading to pull the smoke alarm off the ceiling and remove the battery. The incessant beeping stopped almost immediately, though Darcy continued to cry until Tony scooped her up and began to rock her.

"Tony," started Pepper slowly as she wiped more of the foam off her face. "Why was the smoke alarm going of? Better yet, why are you _in the kitchen_ at midnight to begin with?"

Tony shrugged. "I wanted some eggs. And Darce was starting to whimper again when I poked my head into the nursery. Oh, her fever broke by the way. She was fine when I went to pick her up."

"Good," muttered Pepper, glancing around the room. For the first time since she stepped into the kitchen, Pepper actually took a look at the kitchen. And wished she hadn't.

A light haze of smoke still filled the room, though most of it had vented out the window Tony had opened. Egg shells lay scattered across one counter while Darcy's carrier sat on the island in the middle of the kitchen. A still-smoking pot sat in the sink and another was on the stove covered in fire-extinguisher foam. Drops and splashes of egg covered the counters and floor in places. Tony was never going to be allowed in the kitchen again.

Counting backwards from 50, Pepper focused on breathing and not killing Tony. Mostly for Darcy's sake. "Tony, you are _never_ allowed in the kitchen again. At least not to cook. Now, go back to bed and take Darcy upstairs with you."

"No thanks, not tired," dismissed Tony as he rocked Darcy gently. "Besides, I'm still hung-"

Pepper grabbed a banana off the counter and shoved it at Tony. "Go eat this in your room then go to sleep. You're going to end up sick if you don't."

"But-" started Tony only to have Pepper cut him off with a wave of her hand, a glare, and a motion towards the door. For a moment, she thought Tony was going to start arguing again but apparently her glare was sufficient to make him scurry from the room.

When he was gone, she sighed and turned back to survey the room. "How does one man make such a mess?"

Shaking her head, she started towards the sink to grab the sponge only to step on something that crunched. Taking a breath, she looked down to see what looked like a miniature robot beneath her foot. One that had blending sticks for hands. Well, apparently that's how the egg ended up splattered everywhere.

The device underfoot gave no sign of movement so Pepper carefully set it on the kitchen table before starting to scrub the whole place down. All the while cursing Tony and his inventions.

* * *

Two days later found Tony stuck in bed with a high fever and an attitude matching that of a cranky four year old.

* * *

_Five Months Later_...

Pepper sighed as she entered the house, motions quick and slightly hurried. Tony had a meeting very shortly and she didn't have much time to get him out the door. Which was always a challenge, especially with Darcy around. The man was far too protective sometimes.

"Pardon me Miss, but I'm afraid I will need you to identify yourself," a disembodied voice suddenly cut through the room, causing Pepper to jump.

"What on Earth? What has Tony done now..." wondered Pepper out loud as she spun around looking for the source of the voice.

"Ma'am, I really do need to know your name otherwise I will be forced to have you evicted from the premises," informed the voice in a neutral tone with the accent of a British gentleman.

"Er," started Pepper, recognizing one of Tony's insane experiments when she heard one. "Virginia Potts?"

"Ah, Pepper!" greeted the voice, far more friendly now that she had done as it asked. "Tony informed me you might be returning home today. My name is Jarvis. Tony ordered that I introduce myself immediately upon your arrival."

Pepper nodded slowly, eyes darting around in search of some kind of physical manifestation. "I'm going to assume that Tony built you, then."

"That would be correct," confirmed Jarvis. "He indicated an interest in gaining additional assistance in monitoring Darcy while home alone. As well as expressed a need for some form of defense system for the house."

"So he built an AI, that sounds about right," sighed Pepper. "Very well then, er, Jarvis correct?"

"Correct."

"Right," muttered Pepper as she committed the name to memory while trying to figure out when coming home to disembodied AI voices became normal. "Can you please tell me where Tony is at the moment?"

"He is currently in his workshop with Darcy," replied Jarvis immediately. "Would you like me to get him for you?"

"No," replied Pepper quickly. "I'll go retrieve him myself."

"Very good."

Ignoring the reality that apparently her life had become the embodiment of some insane science fiction novel (which could be where Tony gets some of his ideas from) or a living Star Trek episode (another possible inspiration source), she descended the stairwell that led to Tony's workshop. She couldn't hear his music through the walls, which was good because Darcy did not need to go deaf before she was one. It also worried Pepper a little because a quiet workshop rarely meant anything good. However, as soon as she keyed open the door, a series of notes in no recognizable order or pattern wafted out the open door. Stepping into the room, Pepper tried to find the source of the noise.

Tony was at his workbench with headphones in, apparently deciding that he didn't need to monitor Darcy _at all_ now that he had an AI to do it. Of course, he was in the same room as her and she couldn't walk or crawl yet so there wasn't a lot of trouble she could get into. Looking around for their daughter (that was still hard to wrap her mind around even after almost six months of parenthood), she spotted Darcy laying on some kind of a electronic spider-web like play mat. A series of colored buttons were strung above her head and down by her feet, which she could press and hit. Each time she did, a different musical note was played. Based on the fact that the notes weren't a completely jumbled mass, she apparently had an ear for it.

Giggling as she finished the series of notes she'd just played, her eyes darted to Pepper and one little hand came up to wave. Pepper smiled, stopping to kiss Darcy's forehead and shake the little hand gently before she moved on to catching Tony's attention. That would be easier without his music blaring through the workshop.

Walking up behind the genius, she reached out to tug one of the earphones out of his ear but he tugged it out before she could and turned to give her a grin. "Hey Pep! Did you meet Jarvis yet?"

"Yes," sighed Pepper, putting on her 'I am currently your assistant, you will do what I say' face. "We'll discuss constructing random AI's without warning later. For now, you have a meeting to get to."

"Uh," Tony glanced at his watch and furrowed his brow. "When? 'Cause, I have to feed Darcy soon and I pro-"

Pepper cut him off with a wave of her hand. "I'll take care of Darcy, that's why I'm actually here rather than calling to tell you this over the phone."

"Besides the fact that the phone never works?" pointed out Tony with a grin.

"Besides that," confirmed Pepper. "Now, that meeting is in," she glanced at her watch, "thirty minutes and if you aren't there on time, I will be forced to restrict your workshop access again. Now, go."

"But-" started Tony again, but Pepper was already hauling him up from his bench and dragging him out of the workshop.

"I'll be back in a minute Darcy!" called Pepper as she pulled Tony out the door.

"Jarvis! Watch her!" shouted Tony just before the doors closed behind them.

"Of course, Tony."

Letting out a breath, Tony turned back to deal with Pepper. "Look, Pep, I've got this. I don't need to be monitored-"

"Yes you do," corrected Pepper as she dragged him up to his bedroom and shut him inside. "I always have to monitor you. Now, put on something that _doesn't_ have any stains and be out here in five minutes."

"But-" whined Tony through the door.

"Five minutes!" repeated Pepper as she looked at her watch. "I'm counting."

She heard Tony stumbling around inside the room, cursing up a storm as he went. With the state his room always seemed to be in, she wasn't surprised. And after the 'mixer robot for cooking' incident, she'd forbidden him to build any more 'robotic help'. Which included a robotic maid and the robotic nanny he was attempting to pitch to her last week before she'd left.

It was just shy of five minutes when Tony came bursting back through the door. Apparently, he recalled the last time she'd given him a curfew where his workshop was concerned. It had only been a two day curfew too. "Ready?"

"Yeah," replied Tony as he straightened his tie and gave her his best 'I'm a genius and know I'm better than you' smug look. "How do I look?"

Her eyes took in his appearance with a disconnected eye. "Decent. Now go before you're late."

"Yes dear," joked Tony even as she followed him down to the front door and watched him climb into his car. "Uh, where am I going anyway?"

"Stark Industries Headquarters, the closest one," instructed Pepper with a sigh. "Now go, I'll take care of things here."

"Thanks Pep!" replied Tony as he shifted the car into gear and sped away.

Pepper sighed and shook her head, watching until he was actually off the grounds. Then she went up and locked the gate so he couldn't sneak back in. She'd only made that mistake once.

Re-entering the house, she wondered back down into the workshop and keyed open the door. Everything was quiet inside, which wasn't really worrying given how bored Darcy tended to get with toys. Except Darcy wasn't laying on her musical pad. Or anywhere in sight. For a moment, Pepper felt her heart stop. "Shit. Darcy? Darcy!" For a split second, she panicked and wondered if someone could have gotten inside without her or Tony noticing. Then, she remembered about Jarvis. "Jarvis!"

"Yes, Pepper?" replied the disembodied voice.

"Jarvis, did anyone enter this room after Tony and I left?" asked Pepper fearfully.

"No, Pepper. I locked the doors once you and Tony had vacated the space."

Pepper let out the breath she'd been holding, but the tension still thrummed through her body. "Do you know where Darcy is?"

"I believe Darcy is currently hiding beneath Tony's workbench with a screwdriver."

"What?" exclaimed Pepper, diving for the workbench. Sure enough, when she knelt to look under the bench, Darcy was waving a screw driver around and giggling. She grinned when she noticed Pepper and immediately made the grabby motion that meant she wanted to be picked up. Pepper scooped her up, hugging the infant as tightly as she could without harming her. "How in the world did you get under there, Darcy?"

"I believe she crawled," commented Jarvis.

Pepper turned sharply to look upwards at the ceiling where she assumed some kind of camera was hidden. "Crawled?"

"That is what my database says the action is called," confirmed Jarvis.

"When did she start crawling?" asked Pepper, not really expecting an answer.

"At least since I have been online," replied Jarvis. "She has made numerous trips around the workshop on any given day."

Pepper felt a headache coming on. "And Tony didn't think to mention this little detail to me, why?"

"I don't believe Tony knows she is capable of locomotion," explained Jarvis. "His attention has never been on her when she does crawl and she almost always returns to her original location before Tony notices she moved to begin with."

"I'm going to kill him," muttered Pepper. "Figuratively, of course." The last bit was added for Jarvis' benefit. The last thing she needed was the house AI thinking she had an agenda against Tony.

"Tony has included in my databanks a list of phrases that you are likely to utter in a figurative fashion," informed Jarvis. "The phrase 'I'm going to kill him' along with the variants: 'Tony is a dead man', except when said tearfully, and 'I'm going to murder him' are included in this list. I have been programmed not to take any phrase on this list that is uttered by you seriously."

"At least he thought ahead," sighed Pepper as she turned her attention to Darcy. "You're Daddy is getting a severe talking to when he gets home. And possibly a verbal beating."

Darcy giggled in response and waved her prize around a little. It was quickly confiscated and set on the workbench.

Exiting the workshop, Pepper moved into the living room upstairs and grabbed the cordless phone out of its cradle. Dialing Tony's number, she moved up into Darcy's room to put the infant in her crib along with a stuffed penguin that Tony had given her (when questioned, all he would say is that penguins are awesome).

"Tony Stark, genius philanthropist," greeted Tony. "What can I do for you?"

The sound of wind whipping by the mouthpiece told Pepper he was driving still. Good. "Anthony Stark, you are in _big_ trouble."

"Pep? What'd I do? I'm going to the meeting!" exclaimed Tony. "Look, whatever it is, I didn't do it. Unless something blew up, then I might have."

"Did you know your daughter could crawl?" asked Pepper, voice tense.

"Crawl?" asked Tony cluelessly.

"Yes Tony, crawl," replied Pepper. "As in, move around on her hands and knees. Its a form of childhood locomotion."

For a moment, the line was dead except the sound of wind before Tony came back on. "Oh, is that what its called? Huh. Yeah, I saw her do that once. That's why I invented Jarvis. She nearly gave me a heart attack by hiding under my cot in the workshop."

Pepper felt her eyebrow start to twitch. "Well, she just did the same thing to me, except with a workbench. Care to explain why you didn't feel the need to inform me of this development?"

"Uh, it slipped my mind?" tried Tony, voice slightly apologetic.

Groaning, Pepper leaned on the island of the kitchen where she'd ended up during their conversation. "Of course it did. Which is why we're going to baby-proof the house when you get home."

"Baby-proof?" asked Tony curiously. "What does that mean?"

"It means we're going to put plug-guards in all the wall sockets and put locks on the cabinets that will keep Darcy, and potentially you, out of them," explained Pepper. "Along with moving anything dangerous or potentially dangerous off the floor that Darcy could get into."

It was Tony's turn to groan. "Do we have to?"

"Yes," replied Pepper. "And from now on, the only way she's allowed in your workshop is if she's in a play-pin."

"Alright," sighed Tony unhappily. "But do we have to do it tonight?"

"Yes," repeated Pepper. "Now, I'm going to get the things we need and you're going to install them when you get home. Understand?"

"Yes dear," joked Tony.

Pepper felt a smirk form. "Good boy."

True to her word, Pepper made Tony help her baby-proof the house when he returned home that night. And as she'd predicted, the baby-proofing gave Tony problems. His inability to open some cabinets was a source of humor for the personal assistant/mother. Well, for the first few days. After that, it started to get annoying, to the point where she stopped responding to his cries for help unless absolutely necessary.

* * *

The whole exercise turned out to be pointless a month after they'd proofed the place.

"Pepper!" shouted Tony as he pulled uselessly at the cabinet door. "I can't get the cabinet open!"

From the floor, Darcy looked up and cocked her head at him curiously. Upstairs, the sound of running water indicated that Pepper had just gotten in the shower.

"Crap," muttered Tony as he released the cabinet and scrubbed at his head. "This is stupid. I'm a genius, I should be able to get a cabinet open. These things are meant to keep out babies, how complex can they be? Er," looking at Darcy, he noted that she was staring right at him, "no offense Darce." She giggled at him when he tugged on the cabinet again. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up kid. I'd like to see you get this thing open."

Releasing the knob, Tony scrubbed at his head in frustration for a moment and muttering under his breath. Darcy cooed a little and shifted so she could crawl over to him. When she reached him, one of her hands came out to grab his leg, drawing his attention. "What's up kid?"

She made a little noise and wrapped her other arm around his leg before using it as a support so she could pull herself to her feet. That had happened several times now, so it really wasn't a surprise when she did it. What was surprising was when she let go and toddled a little towards the cabinet. One of her hands came out to rest on the cabinet next to the one Tony was struggling with while the other pulled at the cabinet door her father couldn't open. Once it was open as far as it would go, she reached up and tugged at the plastic strip locking the cabinet, then pushed slightly back so the cabinet opened all the way. Finished with her task, she turned and toddled back to where she'd been playing on the ground, leaving a blinking Tony in her wake. "Oh, so that's how you do it. Thanks Darce."

Retrieving the chips he wanted, Tony closed the cabinet and made his way upstairs with his snack. Pausing at the bathroom door, he knocked several times in the rapid succession that he knew pissed Pepper off. Sure enough, the water inside shut off and half a second later, a dripping-wet redhead was glaring at him in a towel through the cracked bathroom door. "Yes Tony?"

"Just thought I'd tell you that Darcy's walking now," explained Tony. "You got miffed last time I didn't tell you something like that immediately." Pepper stared at him in wide-eyed shock, so he continued forward quickly. "Also, she can open those baby-lock things on the cabinets, so we probably outta remove 'em. The only people those locks are keeping out now are us."

"You mean you," muttered Pepper with a groan as she thumped her head against the door frame.

"Something like that," confirmed Tony as he turned back towards the kitchen to collect his daughter for a little father-daughter TV time.

* * *

**Good, bad, throw it away? Hearing from people helps move these things along and suggestions or comments are welcome. Both good and bad.**


	4. First Year, First Words

**Once again, a big thanks to HeroInTraining!**

* * *

Tony sighed as he stared worriedly at Darcy where she was playing on the ground. She was playing with a simplified computer he had made for her that made sounds and attempted to teach her simple words through visual recognition. He'd seen toys just like it at the store but hadn't thought the devices were complex enough. He'd bought her a bunch of computer games too, for when she was a little older or started talking. Or reading. Really, started doing anything new.

"I don't get it Pep, did I damage her hearing or something? Did that fever fry part of her brain?" asked Tony worriedly.

Pepper gently rubbed his back. "Maybe she just doesn't have anything to say yet Tony. Or maybe she's just a little late. She'll talk when she's ready. Don't worry about it just yet."

Tony groaned and rubbed at his eyes. "She should have already started though. I mean, she did everything else early. Maybe I should call a doctor..."

"That seems premature," scolded Pepper, noting the deep worry in Tony's eyes. He really was worried. "Look, give her another few months. If she doesn't start talking by then, we'll take her to a doctor."

"And not that quack who couldn't do anything about her fever," growled Tony as he looked over at Pepper. "I mean it, that guy is a fruit loop."

Pepper chuckled a little. "You chose him."

"'Best current pediatrician in the area' my ass," growled Tony.

"Tony," groaned Pepper. "Language."

Tony shrugged. "Its not like she's talking yet."

Pepper shook her head an stood. "Even so, I'd rather her first words not contain any of your colorful language."

"At this point I'd settle for anything so long as she started _talking_," grumbled Tony as he flopped back on the couch and leaned his head over the back. His head dropped onto Pepper's shoulder as he fell silent for a change and closed his eyes. Pepper followed suit and for several minutes they rested in silence, just listening to Darcy hit buttons on her toy.

That noise died away too, but neither adult moved. They were too tired and knew Jarvis would speak up if Darcy started to do anything dangerous. Even her moving around didn't cause them to move like it normally would.

What did surprise them was a little voice that suddenly cut through the room, causing both adults to bolt upright in surprise. "Daddy and Mommy want to read story?"

Tony and Pepper were sitting upright immediately, eyes locked onto Darcy where she stood in front of them with a book. Her head was cocked slightly to the side in a very Tony gesture of curiosity. When they just started at her for a moment longer, she continued. "Jarvis teached me."

"Darcy," murmured Tony in surprise. "You can talk?"

"Jarvis," called Pepper shakily, eyes wide as saucers.

"Yes Pepper?" asked the AI's digitized voice.

"How long has Darcy been talking?" Pepper knew she sounded shell-shocked. Who wouldn't after this though.

Jarvis paused for a moment before answering. "She first began making sounds akin to words about five to six months ago. She began speaking in broken sentences almost four months ago."

"Her sentences don't sound broken to me," muttered Tony as he picked Darcy up, who proceeded to open the book and look expectantly up at her father.

"Her linguistic skills have increased exponentially upon learning some basic reading skills and with a small amount of tutelage from me."

Pepper shook her head. "I don't understand. Why didn't she speak before now if she could talk?"

"I believe the issue was that she was never given the opportunity to speak. You and Tony are always conversing with one another, but rarely attempted to engage her in conversation. Or if you did speak at her, continued on before she could respond."

Tony groaned and leaned back on the couch, giving Darcy a forlorn look. "Wow, some father I am. I didn't even know my kid could talk because I'm always too busy talking myself."

"Tony...," murmured Pepper, rubbing his shoulder gently. "I didn't know either. I'm sure there's more to it than just that."

"Pepper is right, Tony. I believe she also sought to better perfect her abilities before she brought her newest skill to your attention."

Pepper's brow furrowed. "Why do you think that?"

"She inquired as to the meaning of the phrase 'practice makes perfect' when she was first beginning to talk. Its a phrase Tony uses often with her to encourage her to perfect her skills. I believe she took this phrase to heart where her speech was concerned."

"Great," moaned Tony. "I'm already scaring my kid and she's not even two yet. Some father I am. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake..."

"TONY!" snapped Pepper loudly, her voice carrying her frustration. Tony's head shot up as he looked at her with wide eyes. "_Never_ say that again. You've said it yourself: Darcy is the best thing to ever happen to you. I've seen how you've changed since her birth and all of those changes have been good. So don't say this was a mistake. The only mistake would have been _not_ taking her to begin with."

"But Pep-" started Tony, only to get cut off before he could say any more.

"No Tony, I don't want to hear any more," insisted Pepper firmly. "You're a great dad. Sure, you've made mistakes and so have I. But that's what parents do. We make mistakes. So don't beat yourself up over something so simple. And don't say she would be better off anywhere else either. The only place Darcy should be is here with us. Got it?"

Tony sighed and looked down at Darcy, who blinked back up at him with wide blue eyes. She held up the book for him to see and repeated her earlier request. "Read?"

Slowly, a smile broke out across Tony's face as he scooped both Darcy and the book up. "Sure Darce, we'll go read. C'mon, lets find a good sounding book."

"Yay!" was Darcy's cheerful response as she wrapped her arms around Tony's neck as he stood.

Pepper smiled softly and watched them pursue the bookshelf she'd had set up for Darcy. Though Pepper's earlier words were true, she did worry sometimes about Tony actually raising a child. He was only 27 himself and barely acted like an adult sometimes, but somehow everything seemed to be working. Sure, Tony was over-protective and jumpy, but new fathers were supposed to be that way. It was just further proof that the man was human. No, by now, Pepper was convinced everything would turn out just fine.

"Oh hey, I forgot about this!" exclaimed Tony suddenly. "Darcy, I got us a new book to read. It's called 'Go the Fuck to Sleep'. Weird title, but it was with the other kids books so it's gotta be okay."

Then again, maybe she spoke too soon. "Tony!"


	5. Tony Stark, Baby Food Maker

**So, this is a late add-in. I'll move it in a little bit so everything is in order. Technically, this happens sometime in the first year of life, but I don't know exactly when.**

**Enjoy the antics.  
**

**Illusinia  
**

* * *

Tony ducked as a splash of orange goop went flying over his head. In her high chair, Darcy giggled, waving her spoon in the air. Glancing at the orange splatter now decorating the wall, Tony cringed. Pepper was going to lecture him for sure when she got home. She'd told him not to give Darcy the spoon, after all.

"Well, clearly you don't like, er," Tony looked at the jar, "mashed sweet potatoes." Looking at the glob of orange again, he shrugged and dragged a finger through the stuff before sticking it in his mouth. Darcy laughed as his face contorted into a look of disgust. He quickly spit the goop that someone was attempting to pass off as food out. "Jeez Darcy, what is this crap? I should sue them for false advertising. That is NOT sweet potato."

Snatching the jar from her tray, Tony chucked it in the trash on his way to the fridge. "Let's make you some real food, kid. Alright, what have we got to work with?"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Pepper set her portfolio on the hallway table as she walked into the Malibu house. She loved her job, really she did. But some days, she really wanted to shoot someone. Especially when a mess-up was followed by a dinner date request.

"Tony? Darcy?" called Pepper as she wondered further into the house. She was heading for the workshop when a wurring noise from the kitchen caught her attention.

Shifting towards the kitchen, Pepper pause for a moment outside the door and prayed she wasn't about to face another disaster zone like the one she had a few months back. Her only comforts were the lack of sirens and crying. Taking a deep breath, she pushed oven the swinging door to see the damage.

She couldn't decide if this was better or worse than last time.

On the plus side, there was no smoke this time. Nor did there seem to be any random inventions littering the room or stains on the ceiling. She was concerned with the concoction currently sitting in the blender though. Tony had mixed up some weird power shakes before, but none of them had been blue. Or that chunky.

"Tony," repeated Pepper as she stepped completely into the room, "what are you doing?"

"Making baby food," replied Tony as he dipped his finger into the contents of the blender and tasted it. "Much better. You're going to like this stuff, Darce. It tastes significantly better than that not-sweet-potato crap."

"Tony!" Pepper's sharp exclamation caught his attention again. "Language." Eying the blender, she gestured towards the questionable liquid inside. "What is IN that?"

"Um, let me see..." Tony's eyes darted across the various food items spread in front of him. "There's turkey, herb potatoes, corn on the cob sans the cob, milk, and blueberries for taste. Oh, and ice cream. Can't forget the ice cream. It tastes much better than that jarred stuff. I'm thinking of going into the baby food industry. What do you think, Pep?"

Pepper wasn't sure what to think, so she just groaned and let her forehead hit the wall beside her. Repeatedly. While reminding herself that Darcy would NOT be better off without Tony. Even if her chances of contracting food poisoning would be greatly reduced.

"Not a good idea, huh?" Tony had gotten significantly better at reading Pepper since she moved in.

"You can't just blend a bunch of things together and call it baby food," explained Pepper with as much patience as she could muster. She was rather happy when her voice remained level. She really did love Tony in the 'I'm raising a child with him' way, but sometimes he pushed her patience to the very edge.

"So, I guess my Cheeto puree is out?" asked Tony with a wince.

"Yes," confirmed Pepper as she picked up Darcy from her high chair. The little girl wrapped her arms around Pepper immediately. "What made you do all this anyway?"

Tony sighed as he poured his concoction into a glass and took a gulp. At Pepper's raised eyebrow, he shrugged. "It doesn't taste bad." Taking another drink, he started to clean up the kitchen, because Pepper would ban him again if he didn't. "And I did this so Darcy would have something she liked eating around here. I mean, have you tasted that stuff, Pep?"

"Why do you think she doesn't like it?" asked Pepper as she took another jar of baby food from the cabinet and handed it to Tony.

He popped the lid and set it on the counter before heading to the silverware drawer. "She threw a glob of it at me earlier." Finding one of the soft spoons, he handed it to Pepper. "I tasted that stuff, Pep. It's nasty."

Pepper shook her head as she offered a spoonful of the mashed sweet potatoes to Darcy, who happily accepted the bite. "Tony, all infants throw their food. They find it funny. It's got nothing to do with a food preference most of the time."

"Really?" asked Tony skeptically. "Because I'm pretty sure that stuff is beyond inedible."

"Trust me Tony, she doesn't care," assured Pepper. "If she cared, we'd know it. Now, finish cleaning up. I was thinking we could all watch a movie tonight."

"Bad day at work?" questioned Tony curiously as he went back to putting things away.

Pepper nodded as she continued feeding Darcy. "Helswin screwed up the calender, so I missed two board meetings I was supposed to sit in on. Then, he had the gall to ask me to dinner."

Tony snorted. "As if you would go out with him. You can do so much better, Pep."

"Please Tony, between you and Darcy, who has time to date?" Setting the spoon beside the jar, she hugged Darcy as the little girl leaned against her with a slight yawn. "Besides, you two are all the family I can handle."


	6. Enter Nick Fury

Nick Fury glanced at the address on the piece of paper in his hands, then up at the gate in front of him. According to his research, this was the primary residence of one Anthony Stark. Though not normally one to pay personal visits, the delicacy of his proposal made him anxious to take every available precaution. Which included avoiding any traceable means of communication.

Sliding out of his vehicle, Fury approached the gate with caution, both eyes scanning the area around and beyond the unassuming metal. Stark was a known loose cannon; it wouldn't be surprising to hear the man booby trapped his gate. Still, Fury could sign of an alarm as he examined the simple wrought iron fence work.

Lifting the latch, he waited for an alarm to sound but nothing came. No beeping or any other means of alerting the home's occupants of his intrusion.

_It may not be set in the middle of the day,_ thought Fury as he headed for the front door.

The front door was set back from the driveway down a not-entirely straight path. It lead to a door that looked to be made of frosted glass. Fury would bet good money that it was reenforced with something far sturdier. A faintly glowing button rested next to the door, which Fury pushed wearily. He also moved away very quickly so as to avoid being electrocuted or ambushed by any other nasty surprises.

Instead, there was a clicking of the locks on the door before it swung open to reveal...a toddler.

Fury blinked. There was a toddler answering Tony Stark's front door. Well, that was unexpected. _Who the fuck would be crazy enough to leave their kid with Stark of all people?_

The little girl blinked up at him with dark blue eyes, tufts of chocolate brown hair falling hap-haphazardly around her head. "Can I help you?"

It was hard to keep his eyebrow from shooting up at her words. For such a young child, she was very well spoken. Instead, he knelt down so he was closer to her height but maintained a good distance for her comfort. And the comfort of anyone inside. "Maybe. Does a Tony Stark live here?"

"Yes," confirmed the girl with a smile. "He's downstairs. Want me to get him?"

"Could you?" asked Fury gently. "I promise to wait right here while you do. I'll even shut the door for you."

"It's okay, Mommy's here," insisted the toddler just as a very worried and harrowed Pepper Potts came skidding around the corner of a hallway. Literally, she skidded. He'd never seen someone do that in four in heels before. The normally well-put-together woman look so worried, it was almost surreal. The little girl turned her head to grin at Pepper. "Mommy, this man is looking for-"

"I heard Darcy," cut in Pepper quickly as she calmly strode the rest of the way to them. She knelt down as well, mindful of her skirt, and gently lay her hands on Darcy's shoulders. Fury caught the way her eyes briefly looked over her daughter, careful to ensure no harm had come to the child. Fury remained kneeling, recognizing the need to follow Pepper's lead. It would ensure she didn't just shut the door in his face. "Alright Darcy, go down to the workshop with Tony. I'll meet you down there in a bit, after I've spoken to our guest."

"Yes Mommy," agreed Darcy before she turned and practically bolted towards the hallway Pepper had just come out of. Pepper stood the moment Darcy was out of sight.

Fury followed immediately. "I apologize if I over-stepped any boundaries."

"It's alright," dismissed Pepper. "You did nothing wrong. She shouldn't be answering the door."

He felt a slight smile forming at the corner of his mouth. "They all do that. No fear at that age."

"Agreed," sighed Pepper as her eyes slid over him in an assessing manner that almost made him nervous. She looked almost like she was sizing him up as a threat. Which, he realized, she probably was. "So, may I ask your name and business?"

"Of course," assured Fury as he fell into a lax stance to show he meant no harm. "My name is Nicolas Fury. I work for the US government." One of his hands slid into his pocket, which caused Pepper to stiffen for a fraction of a second before he pulled out the leather fold containing his badge. He flipped open the case one-handed and held it out for her inspection.

One of her eyebrows rose a little as she noted the words 'National Security Agency' embossed across the top. "I see. And what business do you have with Mr. Stark?"

"I'd like to discuss opening some contacts with Stark Industries," explained Fury. "The National Security Agency is currently discussing the formation of a new branch called the Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate. S.H.I.E.L.D. for short."

Pepper nodded. "I've heard some rumors about a new branch being formed, though nothing concrete has been proven."

"Nor will it ever be," explained Fury. "S.H.I.E.L.D. will operate entirely in secret, unknown to the public."

"This explains the covert visit, but not the reasons for the visit itself," pointed out Pepper. He could tell she was weary, clearly not liking that she wasn't informed about his visit.

Fury gave her a sympathetic look. "I apologize for showing up like this, unannounced. However, please understand, this entire matter is still very much a secret."

Pepper nodded. "Of course. I can understand the need for discretion. I still need some form of documentation other than your badge though."

"If you didn't ask, I would be concerned," returned Fury with a half smile as he extracted a thick pile of papers signed by the president from his coat.

A faint smirk touched Pepper's face. "The ink is still drying I see."

Fury nodded. "I hate to be rude, but is there any way we can continue this discussion inside?"

"Yes, of course," assured Pepper as she turned away from the door. "Jarvis, disarm your weapons and let our guest enter please."

"Right away Pepper."

Fury jumped a little with a quietly uttered 'motherfucker' as a disembodied voice echoed through the hallway. The whole place seemed more ominous now, especially when he spotted the last of several rather dangerous looking weapons fold back into the wall. "Jarvis?"

"He's an AI," explained Pepper. "Jarvis monitors the house and grounds, ensuring there are no threats to Mr. Stark's safety."

"I see," commented Fury mildly. A faint smile crossed his face. "I don't suppose Darcy had anything to do with Jarvis." Though he couldn't see Pepper's face, he noted the way she stiffened and quickly explained. "I have a daughter of my own. She's fourteen now, but I remember the days of worry when she was Darcy's age."

Pepper's shoulders relaxed a little and she peered over her shoulder to nod at him. "It's a bit nerve-wracking at times. Sometimes, I swear she's smarter than all of us."

Fury allowed a chuckle to escape as he relaxed more. "They are. Never doubt that for a minute. Though I must say, and please don't take this the wrong way, but she doesn't really look like you."

"Good eye," admitted Pepper with a touch of a smile. "I adopted her when she was an infant."

For a moment, Fury thought about making a comment about how much Darcy looked like Tony. However, the matter felt too personal and he could just imagine how hard both Tony and Pepper had to be working to keep that piece of information out of the press circuits. He hadn't heard anything about Tony having a child, a difficult thing to hide. Plus he understood all too well the drive to keep one's child safe, especially a girl.

"It shows," commented Fury instead. "She was very polite at the door."

There's a faint twitch of Pepper's lips as her smile grows. "That's because you managed to miss some of her more...Tony personality quirks."

Fury nodded as he took at seat on the couch, per Pepper's gesture. "She spends a lot of time with him then?"

"More than you'd imagine," confirmed Pepper as she gathered some bottled water from a cabinet before joining him. "Despite his...boisterous personality, he's good with Darcy and she really seems to enjoy his company."

"It's never a bad idea to allow a child to interact with intelligent people," remarked Fury. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get down to business."

* * *

Half an hour later, Pepper stood from the couch with Fury, the pile of contract's he wished to give to Stark Industries in her hands. "Well, everything appears to be in order. I'm certain that Mr. Stark would be more than willing to speak with you about these contracts. Please, follow me."

Fury nodded, following Pepper as she led him down a stairwell off the living room and into a small hall which ended in the large glass doors and wall that looked into Tony Stark's workshop. He could just see the man bent over a workbench with a wielding torch in his hand. Darcy sat on the floor to his left, playing with some kind of device she appeared to be taking apart.

"Is she supposed to be doing that?" asked Fury, pointing to Darcy as she unscrewed something with a dexterity that no 3-year-old should have.

Pepper groaned and marched up to the door, keying her way in. The music, which had been playing at a surprisingly low level, shut off immediately. "Tony!"

Tony looked up and turned off his torch, flipping up the wielders mask with a faint smirk. "Hey Pep, finished with our guest already?"

"Actually, I brought him down to talk with you," replied Pepper, irritation present in her voice as she handed him the stack of papers. "Why is Darcy playing with your breakfast robot?"

"Huh?" asked Tony, glancing down at where Darcy sat on the floor. She had the back off the device and had removed most of the basic internal parts. Tony frowned. "Darcy, where'd you get that?"

Darcy looked up at Tony, blinking wide blue eyes at him. "You gave it to me to play with."

Tony blinked back, brow furrowing in confusion. "When?"

"After I took apart the old telephone," replied Darcy. "About ten minutes ago."

Both of Fury's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "She can tell time already?"

Pepper nodded with a sigh. "She most likely picked it up from me telling Tony how long he had before he needed to leave."

"I only know five, ten, and thirty minutes," informed Darcy, her eyes sliding up to Fury's. "I don't know the others yet."

Fury smiled at the little girl and nodded. "I'm sure you'll learn them soon. You seem very smart for your age."

"Genius," replied Darcy with a grin before something on the ground twitched next to her. Her eyes shot down and she carefully picked up an egg beater she'd apparently taken off the device. It was attached to an arm-like limb. "Huh. It's moving."

Pepper groaned again and scooped up Darcy from the floor, plucking the moving robotic limb from her hands. "Alright sweetheart, that's enough. Why don't we leave Tony and Mr. Fury to talk about business, hm?"

"Okay," replied Darcy, her head turning to look at Fury again. "Bye-bye Mr. Fury."

Fury smiled and nodded at her. "You can call me Nick. Have a good day Darcy. Miss. Potts, I'm assuming I'll see you again shortly."

Pepper nodded and exited the room with Darcy in her arms, leaving Fury and Tony alone in the room together. Tony cocked an eyebrow at the other man, who turned appraising eyes on the genius. For a moment, neither spoke as each waited for the other to make a move.

Tony got bored first. "So what's this business stuff Pepper wants me to indulge in?"

"Military contracts for a few new devices," replied Fury, nodding to the papers that Tony held. "Miss Potts explained that you only accept contracts you find interesting. I'm hoping these will be appealing."

"They're unique," admitted Tony, who was already flipping through the sheaf of paper. "What do you need a hover craft for?"

Fury smiled slightly. "A base of operations."

Tony nodded and tosses the papers on his work bench. "Eh, doesn't look completely boring. What's the time limit?"

"As soon as you can," replied Fury, eying the way Tony was already back to playing with his blow torch.

"Right." The distraction in Tony's tone indicated that he was already moving on to whatever he'd been working on. "Tell Pep I accept and have her draw everything up. She's good at that."

Fury nodded. "Apparently she's an expert genius wrangler."

"She's got two that need wrangling," confirmed Tony just before the deafening noise from the blow torch started up again.

Fury took this as a sign he wouldn't get any more responses out of Tony and left. Normally, he would never allow himself to be ignored, but he wanted his contracts filled, damn it. Sacrifices had to be made. It would all change later, once everything was off the ground.

* * *

Pepper and Darcy were sitting in the living room when Fury emerged from the basement. Whatever was in Darcy's hands now looked far safer than what she had been playing with downstairs, though Fury still wasn't sure what it was. Possibly something mechanical, but with larger pieces.

Upon seeing him, Pepper offered a smile and stood. Darcy continued to play with whatever she was doing, apparently ignoring or missing the fact that her mother was no longer next to her. _Definitely Stark's kid._

"Everything settled?" asked Pepper, voice low to keep from drawing Darcy's attention.

Fury nodded and dropped his voice as well. "Stark's agreed to the contracts. He said to ask you to draw up the paperwork."

"Of course," agreed Pepper. "I can send it over tomorrow discretely if you can give me an address of some kind. Alternatively, I can bring the paperwork by myself if need be."

"I'd prefer if you would deliver the paperwork," admitted Fury. "Security and all that." Digging a card out of his pocket, he offered it to Pepper. "This is my office. I'll let security know to expect you. Alternatively, if you could call before hand, that would be helpful."

"That's easily doable," assured Pepper. "I'll have everything ready by tomorrow afternoon."

"Perfect, I'll be expecting you." Fury offered Pepper his extended hand, shaking her smaller one gently before reaching back into his briefcase and extracting a flier. "By the way, I don't know how comfortable you are with this, but this might come in handy at some point."

Pepper's brow furrowed a little as she took the bright flier, advertising a teenage babysitter. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

Fury tapped the name on the flier, listing a Abigail Fury as the advertised babysitter. "In case you ever need to get out. Or don't want to leave you daughter with Mr. Stark."

One of Pepper's eyebrows rose as his message dawned on her. "I see. Does she know how to use a fire extinguisher?"

"Yes," confirmed Fury. "She's also proficient in multiple forms of martial arts, discrete about her clientele, and fully trained on how to do everything from getting a picky child to eat to disarming live bombs."

"Both of which are possible in this house," sighed Pepper. "Thank you, Agent Fury."

"Anytime Miss Potts," assured Fury with a nod in her direction. He waved at Darcy as he walked out the door, noting how the little girl waved back happily.

* * *

_A week later..._

"Fury," greeted Fury as he answered the kitchen phone, shoving it between his ear and shoulder as he attempted to continue stirring the cookie dough he was working on. A little splattered over the rim and for what had to be the tenth time that day, he was grateful for the pink apron his wife had insisted he wear.

Across the room at the kitchen counter, his daughter, Abby, was working to roll out a sheet of dough they'd already finished and cut out the appropriate shapes, crimped hair pulled into a tight pony tail and brown eyes focused on the task at hand. His wife, Melissa, was seated beside Abby, a cup of coffee in her hand. She smiled softly as she watched Abby work, making gentle suggestions every now and then.

"Nicky?" asked the all too familiar (and what Fury was beginning to suspect would become quickly annoying) voice of Tony Stark. "Hey, I'm lookin' for that babysitter who's flier you gave Pep. Uh...Abigail?"Fury noted the sound of crinkling paper in the background.

"She's here, hang on," replied Fury with a bit of a scowl as he stopped stirring for a moment to motion Abby over.

Abby slid off her stool quickly, taking the phone from her father's shoulder and pressing it to her own ear. "Hello?"

Fury moved away a little after that, trying to give Abby some privacy to speak with Mr. Stark. He could guess what the call was about. He just hoped that Tony would be professional.

"No sir, I never discuss anything about my clients with anyone," confirmed Abby, serious professional face on. The smear of flour across her forehead didn't help with that, nor did the remnants of dough stuck beneath her finger nails. She nodded her head a few times, making little humming noises before she spoke again. "Yes sir, I'm well versed in the use of fire extinguisher's. No, I do not rattle easily. Sir, with all due respect, my father was showing me the proper way to throw hand grenades when I was 10. Explosions do not bother me." She fell silent after that, broken only by the occasional 'uh-huh' which she offered to show she was still listening. Finally, she nodded again and grabbed a piece of paper to scribble down some numbers before shifting to hold the phone again. "Yes sir, I can be there Friday night. Yes, of course. Thank you, sir." With that Abby hung up the phone and pinned the piece of paper to the fridge while shaking her head in disbelief. "That has to be the strangest babysitter interview I've had yet."

"Can't expect much more from Mr. Stark," pointed out Fury gently as Abby wondered back over to continue rolling out the dough.

Melissa raised a casual eyebrow at first her daughter, then her husband. "Mr. Stark, as in Anthony Stark?"

"Correct," confirmed Fury. The look of concern Melissa gave him prompted him to quickly reassure her. "Darcy is a sweetheart, don't worry Mel."

Abby looked up at her father with a quirked eyebrow. "You've met her?"

"Yes," assured Fury as he dumped the dough on the counter to kneed it. "She's more like Pepper than Tony, but she is a genius and will probably try to get into some trouble."

Abby nodded slowly. "I wouldn't expect anything less from any child exposed to Tony Stark. What was she doing when you were there?"

"Deconstructing something that Pepper referred to as Tony's 'breakfast robot'," replied Fury. At Abby's raised eyebrow, Fury shrugged. "I didn't ask. You will have to keep anything you see in that house confidential though, you know that right Abs?"

"No Dad, I thought I could tell everyone that I was babysitting Tony Stark's kid," replied Abby with a sarcastic roll of her eyes. "Which reminds me, when the hell did Stark of all people have a kid and how has this not made the news yet?"

Fury shrugged. "I'd guess three years ago, but it's hard to tell. She's far better spoken than I would have guessed a child could be, but again she's Stark's kid so..."

"...it's hard to say how much more advanced she might be from others her age," finished Abby with a nod. "It makes sense. What I'm wondering is how they kept it a secret. And is Pott's her mom? 'Cause Mr. Stark kept mentioning Pepper in conjunction with Darcy and, well, it's kinda hard to tell."

"Pepper adopted Darcy when she was an infant," replied Fury. "She doesn't look anything like Pepper really, but she looks a lot like Tony. My advice though is not to ask too many questions. You're there to watch Darcy, so only ask questions relevant to your job."

"I can do that," assured Abby as she began cutting out cookies. "So, wait, if Tony's her dad and Pepper adopted her, does that mean that Tony and Pepper are-"

Melissa cleared her throat at that point, cutting off Abby's question. "Need I remind you both that family cookie night is about leaving work at work and focusing on being a normal family?"

"Sorry Mom," apologized Abby with a bit of a sheepish look.

Fury just gave Melissa a smile and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Sorry Mel, we'll be good."

"Good," huffed Melissa with a grin. "I'd hate to have to eat all these cookies by myself."


	7. Rule 9: The Code For Tony's Workshop

**Sorry for the wait on this one. I've got more stories that occur further along in the story line, but I'm trying to post these in order to minimize confusion, so I've got to fill in the gaps. Please bear with me. The first day of kindergarten will be up next. **

**Also, if you guys have any requests for certain events to be covered, let me know. I'm bound to miss a few myself.**

**Enjoy everyone,**

**Illusinia**

* * *

"There," stated Tony sadly. "Jarvis is now off-line for exactly one hour."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "We'll be find Tony. We managed before you built Jarvis, we can last for an hour without him."

"Yeah, I know," agreed Tony with a sigh as he turned and scanned the room. "Uh, hey Pep? Where's Darcy?"

"Isn't she in the living room?" asked Pepper as she turned towards the center of the room where Darcy had been sleeping on the couch ten minutes ago. But the two year old was gone. "Oh no. Tony, did you see where she went?"

"No, I was busy shutting down Jarvis," replied Tony. "Shit. Darcy?"

"Darcy!" called Pepper, looking around the room a little frantically. "Alright Tony, let's not panic. She was here ten minutes ago, sleeping. We've been in the next room the whole time and no one passed by us, so she has to be here somewhere."

"Right, we just have to find her," agreed Tony, trying to calm down. This was like when she crawled under his workbench when she was six months old all over again. "Where would you go if you were a toddler?"

"My room?" tried Pepper, heading for the stairs. "Maybe she went up to her room."

"Right, I'll check the kitchen," called Tony as he bolted for the kitchen door. Pushing inside, he scanned the room for any sign of his daughter. "Darcy?" When he didn't get a response, he started to pull open the cabinets and throw everything out of them. Pots, pans, and a variety of other things went flying over the mad genius' shoulder as he frantically searched for his child.

Upstairs, Pepper bolted into the first room on her left, scanning the area frantically for Darcy. The room happened to be Pepper's office and showed no signs of disturbance. There weren't may places for Darcy to hide, even with her small size. Running around the end of her desk, Pepper dropped to her knees and checked beneath her desk. The space was empty.

Cursing, she bolted out of her room and into Darcy's own across the way. Throwing open the closet, she glanced inside before hurrying to check under Darcy's crib. Both places were vacant, increasing Pepper's anxiety and sending her flying back into the hall. The next door on the left led to her bedroom, which was locked to keep Tony out. And it was still locked when she checked it. Sighing, she went to the bathroom next, which was as empty as the other rooms had been.

"Damn it," muttered Pepper, allowing herself the slip. "Where are you Darcy?" Glancing around, she tried to think where the two year old could have gone. Which is when she noticed that the door to Tony's bedroom was ajar. "Oh no. No, no, no, no. Not Tony's room. Please don't let her be in Tony's room."

Pushing open the door, Pepper scanned the disaster zone that Tony called his room. Piles of dirty clothes littered the ground, clean ones tumbling out of the closet in a small avalanche of fabric. The bed was a mess, with no sign of brown hair burrowed into the blankets. To be safe, Pepper quickly stripped the bed but found no toddler hiding inside. One of her hands shot through her hair as she scanned the room for anywhere else the child could be hiding. The door to the bathroom was cracked open, which fueled Pepper's worry further. Who knew what Tony had laying around in there.

Throwing the door open though, Pepper was met with a, surprisingly clean, but empty bathroom. "Damn it." Heading back to the stairs, she ran down them as fast as she could and re-entered the main floor of the house. "Tony? Where are you?"

"Dining room," called back Tony, emerging a second later from the large dining room set off the living room. "She's not in the kitchen, back yard, or dining room."

"And she's not upstairs," added Pepper with a groan. "Where is she?"

Tony paused for a second, scanning the room for a moment before his eyes landed on the stairs. Pepper's eyes followed his line of sight to the stares before looking back at him at the same time he looked at her. Their next words were spoken in tandem: "The workshop."

Bolting towards the stairs, Tony took them two at a time with Pepper running behind him as fast as she could. "Tony, do you think Darcy tried to break in?"

"No clue," replied Tony. "The room's locked, so it's not like she could get in unless she knows the code."

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, both adults looked on in awe at the sight before them. Darcy was sitting in the middle of Tony's workshop, fiddling with some piece of technology she'd gotten from who knew where. The door to the workshop was shut, which didn't seem to bother Darcy one bit.

"Darcy!" exclaimed both Tony and Pepper as Tony ran to the key pad and entered his code. He burst into the room as soon as the lock clicked, scooping up his daughter and hugging her tightly.

"Darcy, thank god," muttered Tony, his arms only loosening enough that Pepper could hug the little girl as well.

"Darcy, how did you get in here?" asked Pepper, pulling back a little way from Darcy but keeping her hand on the toddler's back. Her other hand came to rest on Tony's shoulder closest to her. Without thinking, one of Tony's arms dropped to wrap around Pepper's waist and drawing both women into something akin to a group hug.

Darcy shrugged a little, pointing to the lock by the door. "I got onto Daddy's stool and typed the numbers he always types into the pad in. The door opened."

Pepper groaned. "Really?"

The little girl looked between her parents in confusion. "Did I do something bad?"

"No, Darce," assured Tony quickly, kissing the little girl's forehead. "You just scared us is all. But Darcy, you can't come down here by yourself. This is Daddy's workshop and it's not alright for you to be here alone, alright?"

"But why?" sighed Darcy petulantly, pouting up at her father.

"Because it's dangerous," explained Pepper. "And we don't want you to get hurt."

"Alright," accepted Darcy, pout still firmly in place. "Can I come down with Daddy?"

"Always sweetheart," assured Tony. "As long as I'm down here, you can come down whenever you want."

Darcy offered her father a smile. "Alright Daddy, that's fair. Can we watch a movie now?"

Pepper nodded, relief still clearly painted across her features. "Of course Darcy. Come on, lets go pick something out."

Pepper dropped a pile of papers in front of Tony, startling him awake on the sofa. Bolting up, he looked around furiously, blinking sleep from his eyes. It took a moment for him to look up at the woman standing over him. "Pep? Where's Darcy?"

"Asleep upstairs," replied Pepper. "You two fell asleep during your second viewing of 'The Iron Giant'."

"Oh," muttered Tony, stretching as he sat up on the couch. Noticing the papers, he blinked down at them curiously. "What's this?"

"House rules," replied Pepper. "We've amassed enough within the last two years that I've decided a list is in order."

Tony raised an eyebrow at his assistant, but started reading none the less.

**Rules of the Stark Households**

These rules are applicable no matter what residence is currently in use and are to be enforced under threat of punishment in the form of restricted workshop access and strict curfews. All residents within the house will follow these rules unless mitigating circumstances (i.e. an emergency) occur.

Robot furniture is not permitted in Darcy's room

Automatic changing stations are not permitted

'Helper' and 'Assistant' robots are not to be built, especially in the kitchen.

No house AI's may be constructed without the knowledge and agreement of the rest of the household

Any developmental milestones observed by one parent must be reported to the other

Any book containing a curse word or anything resembling a curse word is not appropriate reading material for a child

Tony is not allowed in the kitchen to cook. Period.

Children under the age of 5 are not permitted to be left alone in Tony's workshop

The pass-code to Tony's workshop will be rotated once a day when toddlers are present on the premises

"Only 9 rules? That isn't bad," commented Tony as he finished looking over the piece of paper on top and moved on to the stack below. "Um, what's the rest of this?"

"An agreement that says you'll obey these laws or accept punishment otherwise," explained Pepper with a smile. "And that's a working list. I have no doubts that more will be added as time goes on."

"Great," groaned Tony. "Hey Pep, can I make rules too?"

"Of course," confirmed Pepper. "Just no rules that say you don't have to obey the rules. Anarchist arguments won't work here."

Tony groaned again, but flipped the contract open and began to look for the places he had to sign. He knew Pepper wouldn't put anything over the top in the contract and she wouldn't include anything unfair. Besides, she was doing this for Darcy. There was a reason he hadn't wanted to raise Darcy without his more than capable assistant, and this was part of it.


End file.
